Mar. 22nd, 2012

caper_est: The Liberty Bell strikes! (liberty)
Living as I do in one of the USA's loyallest subject-allies, I have a certain personal interest in the forthcoming elections across the pond.  The Tea Party has not exactly lived up to my libertarian hopes, but nevertheless I wish to offer its new improved GOP some campaign ideas that may help it fulfil its... historic destiny.  Which I have come to very much hope it will.

1) "Government ought to be small enough to drown in a bathtub.  Romney for God-King in November!"

2) "Tom Turkey says: Vote for me, or Barack O'Gander will abolish Christmas!  Gobble gobble!"

3) "We stand for Government small enough to fit inside a woman's body!  'Big' Dick Santorum for President!"

4) "When we've done the jobs you elected us to do, we promise to go straight back to our boardrooms, and fulfil our Contracts with America!"

5) "We need to bring the wisdom and rigour of the marketplace to Washington.  Who'll start the bidding?"

6) "Is it just us, or does Obama's having a FOREIGN policy sound kind of unpatriotic to you?"

7) "The Founding Fathers believed in a government of laws, not women!"

8) "Government is rubbish at everything but killing people and stealing their stuff.  We'll keep Washington focused on what it's good at!"

9) "Work camps not food stamps!"

10) "Darwin, we double dog dare you!"

And in a spirit of bipartisanship, I will offer the Democrats a similar list of hard-to-beat campaign themes, guaranteed to play to their own best strengths:

1) "Dig, baby, dig!"

Any other helpful contributions to either side will be, no doubt, gratefully accepted.

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caper_est: caper_est, the billy goat (Default)
caper_est

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