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Bleeding Council!
Mar. 6th, 2011 10:46 amKiller-Kate and Luke Lackland: No words, but serious problem-solving.
Rethinking the end of this chapter, I've now had to face the fact that Bonecold Refugee simply doesn't fit into the Gloaming scene in the same way any more. In my original vision, she was pretty much literally a lone voice among the crowd, who called out one very clever and cynically calculated thing at a critical moment. That was her one direct contribution to the whole tale. But now she's a crucial part of the game herself, and everybody knows it. It won't work the same way.
So the pebble that starts the rockslide is now some random peasant-woman shouting out the same thing, either with the same motivation or more likely quite sincerely.
Meanwhile, Bonecold Refugee's job is now to challenge Fiery Younger Sister - who is an awful, awful leader of people who aren't hardened fighters already - so that the row can provoke Kate's great speech itself.
The challenge makes far more sense here than it does in the council scene, where it was partly a character point and partly a dramatic one. With that out of the way, I can change the emphasis of the council scene a lot - and strip it down to its functional bones, keeping the bulk of the wordcount and drama for the inherently dramatic climactic episode.
Here we go, here we go, here we go...
Rethinking the end of this chapter, I've now had to face the fact that Bonecold Refugee simply doesn't fit into the Gloaming scene in the same way any more. In my original vision, she was pretty much literally a lone voice among the crowd, who called out one very clever and cynically calculated thing at a critical moment. That was her one direct contribution to the whole tale. But now she's a crucial part of the game herself, and everybody knows it. It won't work the same way.
So the pebble that starts the rockslide is now some random peasant-woman shouting out the same thing, either with the same motivation or more likely quite sincerely.
Meanwhile, Bonecold Refugee's job is now to challenge Fiery Younger Sister - who is an awful, awful leader of people who aren't hardened fighters already - so that the row can provoke Kate's great speech itself.
The challenge makes far more sense here than it does in the council scene, where it was partly a character point and partly a dramatic one. With that out of the way, I can change the emphasis of the council scene a lot - and strip it down to its functional bones, keeping the bulk of the wordcount and drama for the inherently dramatic climactic episode.
Here we go, here we go, here we go...
