The Sweet Smell of Pork Crackling

Killer-Kate and Luke Lackland: 500 words. An overstuffed winter-locked castle in a country of no trust is not a good hostel for the soldiery of two estates who traditionally hate one another - even when their two lords are, for a novelty, the same person.

If the double lord isn't utter scum, he may have certain non-selfish issues with the places this takes him, too.

No, Wayne, you do not want to be a mediaevaloid Duke!  There is no road you can take from there, without horrors leaping out from every bush.  It's debatable enough whether you can avoid becoming one of them...