Goat Notes

Because I'm still somewhat hung over, and harbouring an enormous vortex of negative energy which sucks the inspiration out of anything it touches, here are some new beginnings for famous works of Western literature, in approximate chronological order.  Classics Without Tears*, here we come!


In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was "in".

Sing, Muse, something bouncy and feelgood by Stock, Aitken and Waterman!

I got to tell you this story about guns and this geezer.

Here, listen: you know how the old Vikings used to stick it to their enemies.

April's wet and windy, and the pigeons are shagging in your gutters all day.  Time to hit the tourist trail!

My brother's the king of parties, but I'm an unprepossessing ratbag!

Dudes!  Who wants to hear my twelve-book epic about original sin?!

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a romantic heroine possessed of a good spirit, must be in want of an arrogant prat.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was chucking-out time at the Star and Garter.

Call me an unspellable and unpronounceable symbol, as a mark of my disdain for my publishers.

In a hole in the ground there lived an earwig.

==

*Or other unseemly evocations of human emotion.

Following on from Nicola Griffith's Russ Pledge post in June, and the ongoing discussions about the literary invisibility of female authors* -

Since the end of May, guestblogger Anna at Echidne of the Snakes has been posting a Sunday series on A Literary Canon of Women Writers, beginning with Enheduanna of Ur (23rd century BCE).  She's now reached the thirteenth century, featuring the distinctly SF-friendly troubadour Marie de France.  The scope is global, the detail often considerable, and the vast majority of its subjects previously unknown to me.  But not, by any means, unknown to the literary communities of their day.  Highly recommended and a big eye-opener.  I'd be interested to hear other people's responses to it.

Echidne's archiving system is somewhat peculiar, and I can't find any way to link to the latest post directly, but it is easily found by a little scrolling down.  Direct links to all previous posts are provided at the top of the new one - though, because of said archiving system, they may initially appear not to be taking the reader to the post specified, even on broadband.  But a few seconds' wait will hit the target.


* I began to write 'women authors', before realizing that this required me to be cool with the phrase 'men authors', which scrapes fingernails down the slate of my soul. Though not as much as those charmings who freely refer to groups entirely composed of humans as 'males', 'females', 'whites', 'blacks', 'olds', 'youngs', 'clevers', 'stupids', 'sicks', 'healthies', and all those other adjective nouns which they deploy with impartial style and elegance.